I'm so glad that y'all can't see (or read) a lot of the thoughts that go through my mind. Is anyone else like me?!? What I mean by that is this: your sinful thoughts FAR out weigh your sinful actions. You can see my sinful actions so I'll just try to keep those to a minimum, thank you!
I see someone doing something or wearing something or saying something and I think to myself, "Man I would never do/wear/say that. What a better person I am!" It isn't always phrased that way in my mind, but that is the basic meaning behind ALL my self-righteous thoughts.
But what a merciful Father in Heaven I have. Not only does he love me in spite of my self-righteousness, but his perfect son died and rose again to rip out my heart of self-loving stone and give me a heart of compassionate flesh. And thankfully he loves me enough to put me in my place and remind me that my self-love grieves his heart.
Sometimes that "putting me in my place" is painful and I deserve every bit of it. But He also graciously puts me in my place.
All of this flows from my trip to Walmart last Thursday. I think my sinful, self-righteous thoughts double when I enter a Walmart! Am I alone?!?
I had both of my boys with me and we had grabbed just a few things that we needed. Since I was under the 20 items mark, I jumped in, what looked like, the quickest line. It wasn't! While we were waiting, a girl who looked like she was 19 or 20 got in line behind me. She had a precious little boy with her who was probably a little older than William. He was laughing and she was playing with him. The first thought I had was, "She seems like a good mother." When I looked back and smiled at her I noticed that her little boy was in nothing but a diaper.
Ahh...let the self-loving thoughts begin! Of course I would never go out in public with my boys in just their diapers. I mean, if we were at a friend's house and were going to play in the sprinkler then that is different, but you just don't put your baby in a shopping cart with nothing on him but a diaper. Doesn't she know that?!?
You get the point.
That night as I was replaying the day for my hubby, I told him about this little situation with the mother and unclothed baby at Walmart. His response was, "Well maybe the little boy blew out his diaper and she didn't have an extra outfit in the car." Zing! "Well, maybe," I said, "but still..."
The "zing" comment wasn't the end. My good Father in Heaven wasn't through with me yet. He knows I'm a bit hard-headed (and always will be).
Fast-forward three days. Sunday morning. Newly sewn seersucker john-john for William. He looked precious and I was quite proud of my sewing job. We had a potluck after the church service so I dropped off my boys at the nursery and then dropped off my salad in the fellowship hall.
After worship I headed to get my boys so we can get high chairs positioned and food ready for the meal. I walk in the nursery to see my little William in nothing but a diaper. While he was getting his diaper changed he proceeded to soak his outfit with a fountain of tee-tee. Guess who forgot to pack another outfit? Yep...that would be self-righteous momma! Not only did my little William not get to wear his little seersucker outfit for the world to see, but he ate his baby food mash in nothing but his diaper.
Nothing else to do but just shove his urine-soaked outfit into the diaper bag and laugh to myself while I thought back to my Walmart trip.
Thank you God for graciously putting me in my place!
Here's to Grace (and may I dish it out to others as it has been dished out to me!),